I had heard rumors of Broadway creating a musical for Legally Blonde about a year ago from some of my fellow Drama classmates. At first, I wondered how in the world that would turn out, since they really had one choreographed “dance”: the bend and snap. Nobody even sang one note (that I can remember of) in the movie. So how were they going to bring the story of a blonde sorority-fashion-boy-crazy-girl to stage?

On Sunday, I sat in the living room while my dad flipped through 70+ channels in search of finding the one thing that would,  hopefully, be something new and refreshing on television. Just when he was losing all hope and was about to watch another run of Guess Who? he passed MTV. Of course MTV didn’t have a music video playing (because apparently they’ve long since forgotten why they started the network in the first place) and surprisingly they didn’t have another reality show on. Instead, I caught a glimpse of Legally Blonde: The Musical! I had him stop and the rest of the evening was dedicated to it.

The first song I heard, I was a bit iffy on the entire thing. But by the time the musical ended, I was applauding with the filmed audience, as if I was actually there at the Palace Theatre.  Lauren Bell Bundy captured Elle Woods as lovingly and fun as Reese Witherspoon. However, I’m going to have to side with the musical when it comes to the Emmett and Elle relationship. They were so much closer in the musical and the two (Emmett played by Christian Bore) seemed to have a bit of better chemistry than their large screen counterpart. Though I knew what was going to happen to the two because I had seen the movie, I was still cheering when the two got together and sad when she almost left him.

Some of my favorite scores were “Whipped into Shape”, a song sung by Nikki Snelson (Brooke) who was the woman on trial. It was amazing to see her workout video being done because it was an awesome choreographed dance featuring jump ropes. At one point, she stops in mid jump and the jump rope freezes in mid-air. I’m still not sure what kind of jump rope they used (it looks like the plastic beaded ones from school, but ours weren’t that rigid) and it sort of inspired me to jump rope again (I haven’t started yet). Another fun song was Orfeh’s (Paulette) “Ireland”. In her reprise, the entire cast did a small river dance, which was really cute. But, my favorite song, simply because it made me laugh the most was “There! Right There!” The song is about the defendants wondering if the pool boy is actually gay or not.

Overall, a musical worth watching simply because it’s so fun! I need to find out when MTV is going to put a rerun of it because I missed the first 5 songs, which is about the first 1/2 hour or so. But, I’m glad MTV did show it, I think they should show more musicals. Maybe one day, Sunday evenings will be musical night, or I might be hoping too much…

“There! Right There!” Lyrics from AllMusicals.com:

Elle:
There! Right There!
Look at that tan, that tinted skin.
Look at the killer shape he’s in.
Look at that slightly stubly chin.
Oh Please he’s gay, totally gay.

Calahan:
I’m not about to celebrate.
Every trait could indicate the totally straight expotriate.
This guy’s not gay, i say not gay.

All:
That is the elephant in the room.
Well is it relevant to assume
that a man who wears perfume
is automatically matically fay?

Emmett:
But look at his quoft and crispy locks.

Elle:
Look at his silk translucent socks.

Calahan:
There’s the eternal paradox.
Look what we’re seeing.

Elle:
What are we seeing?

Calahan:
Is he gay?

Elle:
Of course he’s gay.

Calahan:
Or European?

All:
ohhhhhh.
Gay or European?
It’s hard to guarantee
Is he gay or european?

Warner:
Well, hey don’t look at me.

Vivian:
You see they bring their boys up different in those charming foreign ports.
They play peculiar sports.

All:
In shiny shirts and tiny shorts.
Gay or foreign fella?
The answer could take weeks.
They will say things like “ciao bella”
while they kiss you on both cheeks.

Elle:
Oh please.

All:
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray.

Warner:
Depending on the time of day, the French go either way.

All:
Is he gay or European?
or

Eden:
There! Right There!
Look at that condescending smirk.
Seen it on every guy at work.
That is a metro-hetro jerk.
That guy’s not gay, i say no way.

All:
That is the elephant in the room.
Well is it relevant to presume
that a hottie in that costume

Elle:
Is automatically-radically

Calahan:
ironically-cronically

Vivian:
scurtinly-curtainly

Warner:
genetically-netically

All:
GAY!
OFFICIALLY GAY!
OFFICIALLY GAY GAY GAY GAY
DAMMIT

Gay or European?

Calahan:
So stylish and relaxed.

All:
Is he gay or European?

Calahan:
I think his chest is waxed.

Vivian:
But they bring their boys up different there.
It’s culturally diverse.
It’s not a fashion curse.

All:
If he wears a kilt or bears a purse.
Gay or just exotic?
I still can’t crack the code.

Brooke:
Yet his accent is hypnotic
but his shoes are pointy toed.

All:
Huh.
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray.

Judge:
But if he turns out straight I’m free at 8 on saturday.

All:
Is he gay or European?
gay or european?
Gay or Euro-

Emmett (Spoken)
Wait a minute!
Give me a chance to crack this guy.
I have an idea I’d like to try.

Calahan (Spoken):
The floor is yours.

Emmett (Spoken):
So Mr. Argitacos…
This alleged affair with Ms. Windam has been going on for…?

Nicos (Spoken):
2 years.

Emmett (Spoken):
And your first name again is…?

Nicos (Spoken):
Nicos.

Emmett (Spoken):
And your boyfriend’s name is…?

Nicos (Spoken):
Carlos.
I’m sorry! I misunderstand. You say boyfriend.
I thought you say best friend. Carlos is my best friend.

Carlos (Spoken):
You bastard!
You lying bastard!
That’s it.
I no cover for you, no more!
Peoples.
I have a big announcement.
This man is Gay and European!
you’ve got to stop your being
a completely closet case.
No matter what he say.
I sware he never ever ever swing the other way.
You are so gay.
You big parfait!
You flaming boy in cabaret.

Nicos (Spoken):
I’m straight!

Carlos (Spoken):
You were not yesterday.
So if I may, I’m proud to say,
He’s gay!

All:
And European!

Carlos:
He’s gay!

All:
And European!

Carlos:
He’s gay!

All:
And European and Gay!

Nicos (Spoken):
Fine okay I’m gay!

All:
Hooray!

Nicos and Carlos:
Fine. Okay. We’re gay!