“What do you want?” Travis sighed into the phone.

There was a moment of hesitation. “A baby,” Rebecca answered. Her voice wavered.

Travis glanced at the sable-haired god sleeping naked in bed.

“You know I can’t do that,” he whispered hastily.

“All of those promises you made to me before…what were they? Lies?”

He ran a hand through his tousled hair. “I thought it was understood that those promises don’t apply anymore.”

She whimpered – a clear sign she was on the verge of tears.

“Just think about it,” she whispered huskily before terminating the call.

Travis listened to the dial tone until the operator began giving strict instructions to hang up and try again. He sighed and stared out the window. The morning sun was just peeking over the looming skyscrapers; people were already running about. Horns honked from far away; trains rumbled in the distance. This city truly was the city that never slept. When he turned, a pair of chestnut orbs stared back at him. The god had shifted a blanket over himself hastily, covering up his perfect anatomy.

“What did Rebecca want?” he asked. He half-turned toward the nightstand near him and succeeded in grabbing a pack of cigarettes.

“How did you know?” Travis asked. He watched his god intently; the god was tapping the bottom of the pack succinctly until a cigarette emerged.

He tossed the rest of the pack on the nightstand and searched for his lighter. Lighting up, he muttered, “Who else would call this fucking early?” The fire illuminated his pale face. He blew out the smoke with a soft gust, making a perfect ‘O’ with his mouth. “So what did she want?” His gaze drifted back to Travis.

Travis couldn’t tear his gaze away from him. His eyes traced the contours of his god’s lips, remembering how very soft they felt and what they had done to him last night…

“She wants a baby,” Travis said slowly, trying to remain somewhat calm.

The god laughed as he took another puff. “Figures. Her fucking biological clock is ticking away.”

“Don’t say that,” Travis defended feebly. He walked toward the bed without thinking.

Chestnut orbs watched his journey carefully.

“Just give her what she wants. Then maybe she’ll stop fucking calling so god damn early.”

“You know I can’t,” Travis whispered tenderly. He sat on the edge of the bed, staring intently at the man.

The god rolled his eyes and exhaled more smoke.

“I’m not fucking God or Jesus or whoever the fuck you think I am. I am Seth.” He took another long drag and exhaled. “Would God smoke this poisonous shit?” The pack of cigarettes was tossed toward Travis. “Would Jesus fucking talk the way I do? Hell, would he even fuck another man?”

Travis lay beside Seth, stroking his hair out of his perfect chestnut eyes. Seth frowned at him, but nonetheless allowed it.

“You know it is speculated that Jesus might have been homosexual,” Travis said seriously. Seth pushed his hand away. A grin stretched across Travis’ face.

“Well then, call me fucking Jesus,” Seth muttered as he took one last puff of his cigarette. He extinguished it quickly, exhaled, and got up quickly. “I have an interview today. Think about Rebecca. You owe her fucking big time.”

Travis watched him disappear into the bathroom and sighed. As much as he hated to admit it, he did owe her. At least this much. During the course of their relationship, she had always been so selfless, seeking to obtain whatever it was he wanted and giving it to him. There was no end to her giving. She gave and gave and gave, even if it meant rearranging her life – or destroying it. What was so wrong with giving her this one little thing? Did she have no right to be selfish at least this once?

He shifted to his side to watch the city awaken from the window. It had been an ordinary day then. He had been staring out the window that morning when his life, which had been carved in stone, suddenly changed. The designer, by some sort of sick sense of humor, had decided to change drastic details in his carving at the last second – so much so, that Travis couldn’t even tell what the outcome would be anymore.

The scenery had been different. Then, he had been staring out into a lush backyard. Cigarettes didn’t permeate the air; a sweet floral scent washed over him. Silky, dark brown hair curtained his face. Rebecca’s matching eyes greeted him tenderly. She placed a soft, warm kiss on his lips and smiled lovingly at him.

“Morning, handsome,” she whispered in his ear.

Travis turned to stare at her. She wasn’t perfect, but for him – at that moment – she was the only one he needed. Did heaven look this pleasant in the morning? His eyes drifted down toward her body, stopping momentarily at the strap of her silky nightgown which had begun to fall down her shoulder.

“Morning, gorgeous,” he whispered back. His hands traced up her arms and carefully pulled the strap back in place. Were people supposed to be so soft?

She blushed and looked away from him quickly.

“Have you finished your wedding vows?” She plucked at some lint on the blanket.

It was his turn to look away. “Er…no…,” he said warily. He managed to glance at her.

Rebecca appeared to be calm. She shrugged. “That’s fine. Even just saying, ‘I love you’ would be enough for me.” Her dark brown eyes focused on him. “Travis, I know you have trouble saying how you feel. We didn’t have to write our own vows. We can just say the traditional vows,” she plead.

Travis shook his head. “I want you to know how much I love you,” he said.

With one swift movement, Rebecca found herself pinned beneath him. She giggled.

“Surely you can wait until the end of the week?”

Travis sighed in defeat and let her go. She kissed him on the cheek and hopped out of bed. She half-spun around and winked at him before marching off toward the bathroom. He plopped back down on the bed, staring absently at the ceiling. He hadn’t even thought of the wedding vows until now. Exactly what was he going to say when the time came? His mind searched for words when her face came back into view.

She smiled warmly again, putting heaven to shame. “Don’t think about too much. You have the day off today. Why not take your mind off of it? It’ll come to you,” she promised.

He pulled her down for a deep kiss. “Well, since you promised…”

“It’ll work.” She smiled and placed another kiss on his lips. “I’ll see you later!”

He smiled back at her. Life had been simple. He could see the goal: their own home, two children, a dog. On holidays, their parents would come over; the mothers would both exclaim over his wife’s amazing culinary skills – her mother would boast she had taught her daughter everything she knew. They would grow old together, content with each other’s company. He could see the small squabbles, and he could see they would get through each and every one. If only he had known, he may never have had gone to the diner that day.

As fate would have it – because how else could he describe the pull that lead him that day? – a few hours after Rebecca left, Travis left the house. A tablet of paper, a pen, and a wallet were the only things he took with him. He drove aimlessly around, unsure of what exactly it was he was looking for.

The little diner was hidden between the shadows of the looming structures it was stashed between. With a retro theme and few cars, the place looked like the perfect place his muse would appear to him.

Travis sat at the counter and ordered a sandwich and a large Coke. The waitress didn’t appear to be interested in whatever it was he was writing, and he felt an alarming amount of gratitude toward her. Panic didn’t start creeping in until the sandwich was finished, the Coke emptied, and the apple pie he ordered earlier had nearly disappeared. The pen drummed quickly on the pristine counter as he tried to collect his thoughts. Exactly how did he feel about Rebecca?

The image of her filled his mind, completely overwhelming him. Her smile, her eyes, her hair, her legs, her arms. She was everything to him, and he – he knew all too well – was her universe. So why did an unsettling feeling wash over him as he thought about their life together? Travis chanted to himself that he was just nervous about the wedding; the commitment was daunting and commitment was never his thing until she came along.

“What are you writing about?” a man questioned curiously.

Travis turned, surprised to see someone sitting next to him. The man’s black hair was greasy and came falling to his shoulders; multiple piercings decorated both of his ears, one piercing above an eyebrow, and one on his nose; his entire attire was black and silver; worst of all, he smelled like nothing but smoke. Travis studied him warily; this man was the very essence of trouble.

“My wedding vows,” he muttered quickly.

“What was that?” the man asked, leaning in to hear.

“My wedding vows,” Travis answered louder.

The man, much to the detest of Travis, peered over to look at the tablet of paper. He frowned.

“There’s nothing fucking there, man,” he said. “Did you just start or something?”

“About an hour ago,” the waitress offered before Travis could say anything. She winked and smiled at Travis before taking away his empty dessert plate. His mouth hung open as he watched her.

The man let out a low whistle. “Don’t like her? It’s not like she’s forcing you to fucking marry her, is she? What? Does she have a fucking gun up to your head?”

Travis recovered from his disbelief. Not even during college or high school had he heard ‘fuck’ used in such a small amount of time.

“What?” The man glared at him. “Is there something on my fucking face?”

Travis frowned and turned back toward his paper. “No. But there is something wrong with your language.”

“What’s fucking wrong with my fucking language?”

He eyed him carefully. “That right there. It’s atrocious.”

The man smiled. “Huh,” he breathed. “Well, don’t let my shitty language bother you.”

Travis shook his head in disbelief. Was this guy for real?

“My name’s Seth, by the way,” the man offered.

“Travis,” Travis replied reflexively. He kicked himself mentally.

Appearing appeased, Seth turned and made his order. He stayed quiet, watching Travis. Travis wasn’t sure whether it was because he was being watched by Seth, or whether it was his commitment issues resurfacing, but he couldn’t think of one thing to write. Everything that he started was quickly scratched out. It was too corny, too cliché, too short; the list went on and on.

“Have you ever been out of the state?” Seth finally asked.

“No,” Travis answered, annoyed.

“Well, maybe that’s what’s wrong with you then.”

Travis faced him. “Excuse me?”

Seth pushed his plate out of the way.

“You’ve never been out of Bumfuck, Egypt. So how do you know what you’re missing?” Travis stared at him. “What I’m trying to say is for most guys about to get married, a kick-ass bachelor party cures them of their cold feet. Maybe what you need is a kick-ass road-trip.”

Travis turned and stared at the scribbled words on the paper. A road-trip? There was no doubt in his mind that Rebecca would whole-heartedly agree with the outing. In a way, it was frustrating. Her selflessness was, for him, the most irritating thing about her. Never did she take what she wanted in consideration of whatever they were planning. But when it came to things that he wanted to do alone, it was, without a doubt, a relief.

“I’ve been across the entire fucking country before. I’ll be the perfect guide,” Seth continued.

“What? Were you in the army or something?” Travis eyed him suspiciously. He didn’t look older than twenty – did he go AWL?

“The old man was. We traveled a fucking lot when I was younger. I’ve done some of my own traveling,” he added an afterthought.

Travis stared dejectedly back at his scribbled notes. What was he thinking? He didn’t know anything about the stranger next to him. This Seth guy could be fleeing from the law, a serial killer, or a terrorist. And yet…Travis shook his head to regain control of his thoughts. But the thought wouldn’t – couldn’t – escape: And yet, leaving Rebecca for a couple of days seemed like such a relief.

He gripped his pen tighter, nearly breaking it. Was he willing to risk losing Rebecca over a childish whim to see the country before committing himself? The shameful answer was yes, he was.

“Got a phone on you?” he asked Seth.

Seth smiled triumphantly and handed him his cell. Travis glared at the black phone before slowly punching in the numbers. Three rings. If she didn’t answer by the fourth ring, he swore he was going to give up on this childish whim. She answered on the second ring.

“Hello?”

“Hey,” he answered guiltily.

“Travis?” she answered quizzically.

“Yeah, I borrowed someone’s phone.”

“Is something wrong?” she asked. Panic saturated her voice.

He chuckled. “No, nothing’s wrong. Actually, I wanted to ask you something…”

She waited patiently.

“I know this is sudden,” he suddenly rushed, “but I was wondering if you would allow me to go on a little road-trip?”

“We’re getting married at the end of the week,” she reminded him.

He bit his lip. Was she finally going to tell him no?

“Are you…afraid?” she finally asked.

How could she pick up on him so quickly, even without having to read his body language?

“A little,” he admitted.

“Then you should go. If you think this will help, go ahead.”

Her voice rang with sincerity. Wasn’t she afraid that he’d leave her for good?

“But the wedding,” he began. There had to be something he could say to assure her that he was going to return back to her.

“I’m sure you can get whatever it is out of your system in a week,” she answered amused. “But if you can’t, or if you change your mind about us, well…You have my number.”

“I will marry you,” he swore. Why did she continuously allow herself to tell herself that he would leave her one day? “I promise you, we’ll have a family and children.”

“Stay safe, handsome,” she said. He could hear the smile in her voice.

“I love you.”

“And I you.”’

With a heavy sigh, he ended the call. Seth held out his hand, his fingers glittering with numerous rings. Travis returned the phone to its owner; it suddenly felt heavier, as if reflecting the large guilt that was forming in his heart, weighing him down.

“Head on home, get your things. I’ll follow you and we’ll leave in my car,” Seth began.

“Why your car?” Travis frowned. He didn’t like the sound of that. If he ended up missing, how were they going to find him?

Seth rolled his eyes. “Fine. Your car. I’ll leave mine at your house, happy?”

“Don’t you need to go home?”

He shook his head. “The things I need are in my car.” He smiled. “I didn’t want to go on a road-trip by myself.”

Travis took one last look at the scribbled notes. He laid down the money for his meal and a couple extra dollars for the waitress. Seth lead the way out of the diner and Travis blindly followed him out into the afternoon sun, leaving behind the pad of paper and pen.

 

At first, he was uncomfortable with leaving Seth’s car at his house. What would the neighbors say? But Seth had – by some sort of divine miracle – assuaged his fears. Who gave a fuck what the neighbors thought? The only person whose thoughts really mattered was his fiancee, right? And didn’t she give him the go ahead?

So Travis found himself reluctantly in the passenger seat of his own car. The backseat was crammed full of various suitcases. He, himself, only needed one. Travis didn’t dare ask why Seth needed so many suitcases – he thought it would be wise to not know. The police would let him go when they knew he was totally oblivious; he was sure Seth was hiding something in there. Drugs, money, valuable artifacts, jewelry, maybe even chopped up pieces of someone. Who really knew?

Within a few hours, Travis found himself out of the state. Bumfuck, Egypt was completely behind him – and Rebecca. The radio station had been changed within a couple hours after they had set off, but the rock music was turned on low. Seth couldn’t stand the music of the seventies, and Travis thought his ears would bleed with all the nonsense screaming that Seth appeared to comprehend. And thus, they compromised. The intense blaring and screaming would – and could – be tolerated at low volume.

Seth would stop every so often if there was a sight he thought Travis should see. By the time they had stopped for the night, Travis had been through three small towns, two parks, and seen numerous statues and monuments depicting ancient heroes and war. But the greatest find was staring out the window, aimlessly watching the landscape change and fold upon itself. To Travis’ surprise, Seth turned out to be an excellent guide, though he didn’t know exactly how much of the information Seth gave him was true. With every statue and monument that they stopped to see, Seth would ramble on about who it was and give a succinct biography, or he’d talk passionately about the war that was fought and give a number of soldiers and the casualties.

For their meals, Seth refused to eat at the chain restaurants. The commercialized businesses, he proclaimed, were all communist bastards who needed a swift kick in the ass by good ol’ Uncle Sam. But unfortunately, Uncle Sam’s hand were in those bastards’ pockets, so he was as corrupted as they were.

“But if the government is corrupted, then what’s left?” Travis asked after taking a bite of steak. Seth had miraculously found a local restaurant amongst the glittering lights in a tourist town.

“’We the people’, that’s what’s left. We need to stand up together and show those bastards who the boss is again. Do they fucking think they’d be in office right now if it weren’t for us? Do those fucking communist bastards think they’d be rich without us? They treat us decently because if they didn’t, we’d be after them. All three-hundred and fifty fucking million of us.”

Travis stared wide-eyed at him.

“Are you Christian?” Travis asked.

Seth stared at him like he’d gone insane. “Does it fucking matter?”

He looked sheepishly down at his food. “No, I guess it doesn’t.”

 

Everybody knows that you have to make a good first impression. They were vital to how other people would perceive you as. And though Seth came off as an anarchist punk who didn’t give a crap what people thought, Travis began looking at him differently. He was still a punk who didn’t give a crap what people thought, but he definitely wasn’t an anarchist – law and order needed to be maintained. He was smart, but rarely applied himself. He was energetic and passionate, but wanted to appear laid-back.

There were also the physical things Travis began to notice about his new friend. Though he frequently stomped, his movements were filled with grace. His chestnut eyes were framed by long lashes, and his face! Seth radiated with virility, and yet his face held such soft features and perfect skin. It was a face of an angel, putting all the women to shame, even Rebecca.

At times, Travis found himself completely mesmerized by Seth. Everything would be left forgotten except him. Travis watched his lips when he spoke, his hands when he said nothing. He often found himself shaking away his eyes and attempted to focus on the scenery, but his mind always replayed everything he had just observed of his friend.

And he could call Seth a friend now. They had been on the road for three days now, making it somewhere in the Mid-west. He knew Seth’s past, his old friends, and where he’d been. Likewise, Seth knew about the few ex-girlfriends Travis had, the future he saw with Rebecca, and where he had gone to college. The gap between them closed with every hour they were together; it frightened Travis and at the same time excited him.

“How’s your wedding vows coming along?” Seth asked, placing Travis back to the real world.

The two of them had crashed for the night at a Holiday Inn somewhere off the highway. Though restaurant chains were communist bastards, hotel chains were fine. They needed to keep up a strict level of cleanliness, whereas local hotels and motels were a little sketchy. How many wary travelers disappeared from them and were never seen again? Travis had rolled his eyes at the statement; apparently Seth had watched a little too many horror movies.

“Not so good,” Travis admitted, staring at the floor.

Seth had just came out of the shower, wearing nothing but a towel. His sable-hair was dripping wet. The water splattered his toned body and left a trail down toward the towel that was wrapped carefully around his waist.

“Does my nakedness offend you?”

Travis felt a wave of heat rush to his cheeks. How long had it been since he last blushed? He looked up.

“No,” he choked. Could anybody really look that perfect?

Seth smirked. “Good.”

He grabbed his pack of cigarettes and a lighter and stepped out onto the balcony. The cool night breeze that wafted through the room helped Travis’ heart calm down. Why had it beat so wildly out of control? He stared out at the angel outside. Seth exhaled a plume of smoke and leaned onto the edge of the railing. Travis found himself staring at his friend once again. The moonlight cast a pale glow to Seth, illuminating him like a god.

Travis grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste and headed quietly over to the shower. The hot water continued to calm him down. It made no sense to him. He had never been…attracted to men before. It had always been women that he had chased and left broken. Why this one? Why now?

Cleaned and calm once again, Travis stepped out of the bathroom dressed only in sweats. Seth acknowledged him and then turned his attention back toward the television. Some mindless reality show was on. Travis felt a blush creep into his cheeks and was suddenly grateful the lights were out. Seth hadn’t gawked at him when he came out of the shower. Seth had never stared at him, mesmerized by his very movements.

Travis crept into bed and lay on his side – away from Seth. There was something seriously wrong with him. Maybe, Travis thought to himself, it was Seth’s angelic face. It was something to behold. And it had been awhile since he had seen Rebecca. Since they’d been together, they had only been away from each other for a few hours due to work.

“Nervous about going back?” Seth mocked from his own bed.

“Yeah,” he lied.

“Don’t worry about it. You’ll find the right words to say when the day arrives, even if you didn’t write it down on a fucking piece of paper.”

“Thanks,” he said.

He slowly drifted asleep and dreamed of Seth.

 

Seth began the drive back. He kept assuring Travis that he was going to get him back in time for his wedding – even if that meant driving the car down the aisle. Travis had smiled, but said nothing. He didn’t notice anything outside, unless Seth pointed something out. The music had been turned back to music of the seventies, but much to Travis’ surprise, he found he liked the nonsense screaming and blaring of rock that Seth preferred much better. He quickly turned it back; Seth glanced at him quickly but said nothing.

Since dreaming of Seth, his friend had suddenly filled his mind. He couldn’t – or rather wouldn’t – shake him away from his thoughts. And though he tried to stop it, he couldn’t even slow down the ever closing gap the two had had in the beginning. It felt to Travis that the two of them had grown up together, or at least known each other much longer than a few days. And even though he was going to get married – the commitment suddenly seemed even more frightening the closer they got – Travis knew he wanted to continue to stay friends with Seth long after Seth dropped Travis back home. But he also knew that staying friends with Seth was only an excuse to be with him and stare at him. Seth had become his obsession and his darkest desire. Was it wrong of him?

“Looks like you’ll make it to your wedding after all,” Seth said as soon as they had settled into their recent hotel room.

Travis nodded his head absently.

“Something wrong? You look like shit.”

Travis stiffened. His obsession was suddenly in front of him, his chestnut orbs studying him speculatively. His breath smelled of cigarettes. Travis took in a deep breath and attempted to remain calm.

“No, nothing’s wrong.”

Seth studied him a moment longer and then turned to smoke outside. Travis let out his breath slowly. He had been so close…too close. If Seth had leaned in a little closer, Travis was afraid he may have acted upon his dreams and kissed him.

“I should have you back within four hours tomorrow,” Seth said from the balcony. He took a long drag from his cigarette and exhaled slowly. “What time did you say your fucking wedding was?”

Travis leaned against the sliding glass doors. “Six.” He looked away.

Seth smirked. “Will your fiancee be pissed that you missed the rehearsal dinner?”

“No,” he said quickly.

“What about if you miss your wedding?”

“Not if it was what I wanted,” he admitted.

Seth took one last puff and dropped the cigarette to the ground, extinguishing it with his shoe. He walked determinedly toward Travis with a look in his eye that Travis couldn’t identify. He suddenly looked – dangerous. Travis backed away into the room, but Seth kept following him. Travis continued to walk back until he felt a wall behind him. Seth had him trapped. Did everyone’s murderer look so beautiful, or was he the only lucky one?

“Tell me something,” Seth whispered, placing his hands on either side of Travis’ head.

Travis allowed himself to look into Seth’s eyes. All the fight he had been building up suddenly melted away.

“What?” he breathed.

“Why the fuck have I been catching you staring at me during our little fucking journey?”

“Because I want you,” he answered, afraid to lie. He mentally kicked himself. If Seth was going to spare him before, he surely wasn’t anymore.

Seth leaned in and whispered in his ear, “Want to know a secret? I’ve wanted you since I saw you at the diner. I thought it would be interesting to see if I could convert a straight man my way. I was planning for a challenging fuck, and then I’d fucking leave you like trash.”

Travis trembled. Seth’s hot breath sent his heart into erratic palpitations.

“But I wasn’t expecting my trash to be my own treasure,” Seth whispered.

Travis sucked in a deep breath and suddenly found Seth’s lips crashing down on his. All the resistance he had been building and carefully maintaining came crashing down upon contact. There was no way he could deny the feelings he felt toward Seth any longer. He loved him and his life gravitated around this man. Rebecca would be crushed – that was certain – but would she deny him of being with the one that so completed him? He did still love Rebecca, but her hands didn’t send flames trailing down his arms, nor was she so perfect, so beautiful. Seth was his god and Travis didn’t care what rule he broke to be exiled from Olympus.

By the time the dawn broke, revealing the two locked in each other’s embrace, Travis knew that between Rebecca and Seth, he couldn’t live without Seth.

 

“So what’s the verdict on Rebecca?” Seth asked, tuning Travis back to reality.

Travis turned toward his lover and friend. “I think you’re right. I owe her big time,” he agreed.

Seth nodded in agreement. “You stayed with me on the day you were supposed to be married, without even giving her a call. I still can’t fucking believe the words that came flying out of her mouth when you told her about us.”

Travis laughed. “It’s so unlike her.”

“But she couldn’t help it. I’d do the same if my world was taken from me.”

Travis looked up to see Seth standing before him. His hair was brushed neatly and he was smartly dressed in a suit. Though he still wore his many piercings, he had left them out – for now anyway. Travis couldn’t look away. Seth brushed the back of his palm across Travis’ cheek.

“You’re my world, my treasure,” Seth muttered before placing a kiss on his lips. “And I know you love her still, but not as strongly as you love me. You promised her a family with children. Give them to her. And maybe, just maybe…she’ll return the favor and give us children of our own.”

Travis leaned back and looked into his deep chestnut orbs.

“Seth?”

He smirked and kissed him lightly.

“Someday, I’d like us to raise a child of our own.”

“You’re not exactly the perfect father figure.” Travis frowned.

“And you’re not exactly the perfect mother figure.” Seth smiled and neatly dodged the pillow that was thrust in his direction.

His laughter filled the apartment until he left. Travis sighed and watched the growing crowds outside. It wasn’t complete yet, but he thought he could see it. The carving the designer had so meticulously shaped out of bare rock was beginning to finish. The intricate details that littered the carving were finished. The designer just had to shape out the rough edges. A house, a family, and children. Things he thought he would never have once he chose his life with Seth. Things he had promised to the woman he thought he couldn’t live without. These simple things would – and could – be granted.